Qu'est-ce que c'est?

The stress definitely starts to build as I realize that anatomy class is just as confusing as the french class I had last night. With no background in anatomy, this in some way resembles a different language to me.

Quoi?

Had my first french class today. My prof spoke in French for 85% of the time. In a way it was overwhelming but on the other hand, I kinda enjoyed the intense, bootcamp nature of the class. It kinda made me feel like I would be forced to learn a lot and to really learn the language. We'll see how things go after she reads my paragraph to determine whether I've been misplaced in this class :D haha

Let the studying begin!

So foundations lectures are finally starting and surely enough, we had a whole day of it today - intense. Suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed about my new home, new friends, new program/area of study, new methods of learning, and of course new life. Wondering if I can get through this but of course it is too soon to tell. Can I survive the case-based learning? the strong smell of aldehyde in the anatomy lab? the lack of specific textbooks I can refer to? the interviewing of patients each week? standing in an OR for 6 hours straight? Only time will tell.

P.S. French class begins tomorrow!

Life as a student

Almost completed 1.5 weeks of school. Learnt lots about professionalism, ethics, leadership, physician wellness, and other relatively "softer" skills. Had a memorable birthday in Ottawa, for the first time in my life. Is still amused about taking out the garbage and bumping into classmates who are also doing the same thing. Was excited about an interprofessional case competition but then my team ended up with 7 med students and 1 health sci student - very interprofessional indeed. Still enjoying the art of cooking yet wished that I can do it in less time. Tip: don't cook when you're hungry, by the time you get hungry, you'll be rushing to get your meal done that it is highly likely your meal will turn into a disaster. You need to foresee hungry and prepare well in advance.

Loved the fact that we had a long lunch today where we managed to go out for lunch, go to the pharmacy, starbucks and loblaws. Fun times.

Watched very touching video clips in class which made me question my EI and wonder if I'm too sensitive. Think I have the imposter syndrome and have been doing a lot of reflecting, hence the lack of posts in the past week. I read an article last week about surviving first year. There were some very valid points there, mostly importantly the need to stop comparing myself to others and stop caring so much about what others think about me.

Back to school

Woke up early to in the morning to head to school to pick up my new computer! Smaller than expected but still nice. Carried my computer avec all it's accessories home and really trained my upper arm strength. Didn't know the walk home was so long until today. XD Finally "registered" and officially a student :) Met EVERYONE in the class via introductions from each student - crazy, I know. Found out I was the only commerce student and 1 of 4 BC'ers in my class. Went to some friends' house for lunch then back again for some more lectures. Need to get use to instruction in both official languages. I'm enjoying the benefits of living close to school since we got to go hang out at home after school and before the evening events. Was on time for the club presentations but was deprived of pizza since it ran out before we got there! Listened to a total of 44 club presentations then signed up for at least 10+ clubs. Went out for some authetic chinese food. Yum.

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 12

Time to raise some money for Cystic fibrosis screaming on the streets of Byward Market and saran wrapping a friend to a lamppost. Fun times. Off to lunch and to get dressed up for Toga night. Awesome times!

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 13

Started the day with a great start by setting off the smoke detector making pancakes. Long story short, didn't want to wake up roommate by turning on kitchen fan but ironically woke her up and scared her to death using the smoke detector. Lesson: You gotta do what you gotta do. Then off to do some grocery shopping. Went out for some pasta then off to our Hawaiian boat cruise! Loved it!

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 11

Slept in today and woke up to the smell of the yummy brunch that my awesome roommate made for us. Then did the laundry. Then headed out for a walk to school. Roommate was taking a nap when I stepped out and when she woke up she thought I was kidnapped XD. Oops. I'll probably have to leave my notes at a more obvious location next time. Headed downtown for a tour to community health clinics, had some pizza, then off to the traditional scavenger hunt.

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 10

Ate brunch at home to get ready for Day 2 of frosh - Med olympics! More sunshine!! More pranks. Signed up for volleyball and dance teams! Super excited! Went home to eat dinner then got dressed up in retro gear for some bowling. Saw the evening view of the canal tonight. It was beautiful.

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 9

First day of frosh week - full of pranks, bbq, sunshine, "speed dating", stand up comedy and lots of student swag. Awesome :) didn't know we were supposed to eat before the evening events.. came home at midnight and ate bowl noodles XD. Totally not good for my stomach. Need to plan better tomorrow.

Adventures in Ottawa - Days 7-8

Since my parents have gone home, I've been spending the last two days with my roommate and her family. They are super nice, yet I think my homesickness is starting to kick in already. Our days were full of some more shopping, returning and other fun stuff. I think I've been to Canadian Tire at least 7 times since I got here. It's strange since I would boycott them back in Vancouver. Fun times though. I think with all this shopping we have enough food and supplies till the end of December XD. After dinner last night, we saw some people with telescopes set up in the parking lot and apparently they were looking at Jupiter and its moons. We asked to take a peek and it was an amazing sight!

I don't remember if I have mentioned this but I think I've become a lot more germaphobic since I got here. Must be because of moving in a new place and all.

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 6

Went to the airport early in the morning to see my parents off. I’ll miss them =( then headed straight downtown to Sally’s. I noticed the traffic lights here are pretty slow. Had lunch then did a quick tour of downtown and got some groceries. Headed back to Sally’s where she prepared a delicious meal for us. Then off for a walk along the canal and other areas of downtown. There was a pride parade going on today and the party lasted all day. It’s 9:46 right now and I can still hear the music playing. It's been playing since noon. Who said Ottawa’s not a party town?

Day 6: grateful to have a friend in Ottawa.

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 5

A rainy, but relatively more relaxing day. Some some last minute shopping before returning the car. Reflected upon how I probably spent way too much money on this move over the past few days. Need to do up an excel later. Did laundry, made lunch, then more furniture building. I've become good friends with wrenches, screws and screwdrivers in the past few days. Then I further learnt the art of doing chores efficiently yet effectively. Didn’t get the chance to get it set up yet. Went to the hospital to see if I can get internet access but no luck. The lack of internet at home is starting to drive me crazy. Biggest problem now. Came home and it’s time to make dinner. Took way too long. I probably can’t afford to make such a comprehensive meal when school starts. Then some more furniture building and some major furniture moving then sat down to do that excel I was supposed to do.

Day 5: exhausted

Adventures in Ottawa - Day 4

Lots of things to do today and not much time, so first things first: went to the hospital campus to ask about problem #1 . Found out I need to go to the downtown campus to get some missing blood test done. But first, need to go to the bank and fixed problem #3. Did some more shopping then finally managed to get an Ottawa number and to ask about my texting problem. Hopefully problem #4 is fixed now. Then off to downtown to get the blood test done. More shopping. Finally found a bed-in-a-bag that I like. So excited!! And finally go a map! The GPS is such a deterrent to someone trying to learn an area. Dinner time. First home-made meal in Ottawa =) Built some more furniture, did some cleaning and furniture arrangement and voila, problem #2 is fixed! Some more unpacking before it's time to head to bed.

Day 4: good, but still feels like i'm in war where time is of the essence.

Adventures in Ottawa – Day 3

Didn’t get much sleep again last night due to the time difference and having been woken up thinking about whether I needed all the furniture I purchased yesterday. This led to thoughts about how this furniture should be arranged, which led to me planning out what needs to be done today. First stop: groceries and basic household goods – yay, I can do some cooking now. Spent at least an hour and a half in Loblaws. Forgot my recyclable grocery bags but at least we have a car =) Ate lunch, did some major cleaning and vacuuming. Then waited for the beds to come. They were late, so as soon as the beds came, we headed out. Found the library and finally got access to internet – but the connection was extremely slow and disconnected so didn’t get much done. Found out that there’s something missing from my immunization record – Problem #1. Off to Chinatown for dinner and we decided on some pretty Pho with some amazing fried bananas. Then off to Chinese grocery shopping in the only market In Ottawa’s “china street” – literally one street. Then off again to shop for a bed in a bag – no luck. Got home and assembled some furniture which has arrived. Realized that the furniture arrangement I planned this morning in my head looked a lot better in my head than in reality. Tried moving furniture around many times but still not satisfied – Problem #2. Suddenly, I realized there might be something wrong with my rent payment – Problem #3. Also found out that the texting function (my only way of communication with Vancouverites) on my cell hasn’t been working properly today – Problem #4. Right now I’m half looking forward and half dreading tomorrow where I hope to resolve most if not all of my problems. Last thoughts: The internet is a super useful invention - can’t wait to be reunited with you. I admit the planning of this move needs a lot more improvement :(. Feel overwhelmed. Please bear with me.

Day 3: day full of problems, detours, and regrets.

Adventures in Ottawa – Day 2

Didn’t get much sleep last night due to the cricket sounds outside my window. I’m sure I’ll get used to it after a while though. Bussed to the main campus early in the morning to get some administrative stuff done to get ready to be a student again. Met an aspiring med student while I was there and was happy to find out from him that the wait time to get the student card today has been reduced by at least 20 fold compared to the past two days – sweet. Breakfast: campus food. Picked up the rental car, then off again to go furniture shopping with my roommate! First stop – mattress store! Got my bed – yay!! Feeling much better about this whole moving thing now. Can’t wait to get my bed tomorrow. Then off to Ikea to buy other household goodies. Lunch: Ikea food – perfect poor student diet. Off to pick up more household goodies from a friend then off to do more shopping. Home time. Performed a coin toss to determine the room allocation. Can finally unpack - yay! Dinner then some cleaning. I think it’s time to call it a day. Last thought: having a car makes life so much easier in an unfamiliar city!

Day 2: much better.

Adventures in Ottawa – Day 1

So it all started with my flight being delayed because of the emergency disembarkation of a guest; however, it was a smooth landing in sunny Ottawa. Arriving at the airport we grabbed all 5 of our luggages and headed towards the car rental companies hoping to get a car, only to find that there were none left – not surprisingly. Why it didn’t occur to us before - I’m not sure – my bad. Went with plan B – cabbing, only to find out that we got a taxi driver who doesn’t know how to get to my house and blamed us for not knowing the way – my bad. Called the landlord to find out that he won’t be arriving until an hour later despite our prior arrangements – my bad for not confirming with him before I left. Off to look for dinner. Found the way to the hospital campus and settled on hospital cafeteria food – my bad. Due to the “easy to navigate” nature of hospitals and our neighbourhood, our 10 minute walk home turned out to be more like 20 minutes – my bad. It’s just strange how 3 normally very organized and prepared individuals managed to pull this one off. For those who have asked whether I’m ready, I can tell you now – I’m totally NOT!! Help!

Only consolation: seeing my friends at the airport and having my parents by my side.

Day 1: epic fail.

Being content

You can try to please everyone, but at the end of the day, you cannot be friends with everyone.

You can try to change yourself to be someone else who seems to be "better", but at the end of the day, you need to be yourself.

At the end of the day, do you reflect upon what you've done wrong or think about your accomplishments?

Live in the present, not the past. Be content. You actually have more than you think. People can be greedy and want something more when they realize they are losing it, whether or not this thing may be suitable for them. You have to realize that you can't have everything, and it's ok not to have everything :)

One small step at a time

Thinking of a big, faraway goal, I once again reminded myself (and acted on) making one small step towards it, just like breaking a problem into smaller ones. It's easier for the brain/body to handle and it's more encouraging when you see small results.

Distant

It's a real shame we can be very close to someone in one point of our lives, then realize the next time we bump into this person that we can never be as close as we used to be. I mean they haven't changed, we sure haven't changed but why the change in the interaction? How can close friends become strangers with the passage of time?

How is that even possible? You might not be aware of it but we all change. Sometimes, we change so little everyday we might not even know it; hence, great chemistry one minute can become clashing personalities the next. Or the more cynical side of me says that sometimes people become close to others for a reason. When they have derived their benefit from this other person, they move on. Whatever the reason, life is full of intimacy then distancing. Remember to cherish what you have now and to keep in touch with those you care about.

Priorities

ACTION
FOCUS
GOAL

Seriously, I have this posted on my wall, in front of my desk. I've just proved to myself today that I can focus on the most important task at hand even though I was tired and wished I were doing something more relaxing.

Counting my blessings

I might not be outgoing, but I'm blessed to have amazing friends.
I might not be pretty, but I'm blessed to not be disfigured.
I might not be wealthy, but I'm blessed with a home.
I might not be a size 0, but I'm blessed to be healthy.
I might not be great at talking, but I'm blessed to be able to talk.
I might not be a prodigy, but I'm blessed with an education.
I might not be satisfied with my decisions in the past, but I'm blessed to have a chance to make better decisions in the future.
I might not be happy, but I'm blessed with the choice to be happy.

Be like Jason Chan's latest CD and Change

Why are we so afraid of change?
Why is it so difficult to take a leap of faith?
What if? What if I fail? What if I don't like it?
What IF?
Wasted time?
Wasted money?
Or would you rather waste life by not living it to the fullest?
Don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid to try.

2009 Lesson #4

We can be a lot happier if we are able to take good things in as they come and not to question or doubt their existence. If something great happens to you today, try to accept it at face value. Have little celebrations in life for small achievements, because we never know when our next achievement may be. When you feel happy, feel it, live it. Don't hold back.

2009 Lesson #3

I realized that when we expect something, we never get it, then we face disappointment. So, perhaps the key to happiness is not to expect anything. Then maybe our lives would be filled with pleasant surprises.

Bad things do happen to good people

I have not done anything majorly wrong in my life. I have (or at least I try very hard to) not hurt anyone but sometimes I say things that are totally not what I meant to say. Why can't I speak my thoughts? Someone once told me: if you don't have something nice to say don't say it. I really try. I try really hard. But my words seem not to match my thoughts or my intent. I really don't know what I can do anymore. I HATE how the world can easily misunderstand what I say. I really really hate it.

吃得苦中苦,方為人上人

Positive thoughts. Don't lose focus on your goals. You will get through this.

2009 Lesson #2

Don't be afraid to help. Say what you need to say. Do what you feel is the right thing to do right away. Don't wait because then it may feel awkward later on which may deter you from helping. Don't let others suffer as a result of your shyness.

2009 Lesson #1

Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. If something doesn't feel right, chances are, it isn't right. It's better to look like an idiot now than to look like a bigger idiot later :)